Freedom

Freedom. 

 I didn’t think it was actually possible. When you experience freedom, a freedom so radical you can’t contain the Joy. I believe that -- is what He paid for.  

It is for FREEDOM that Christ has set us free from the law of sin and death.  

I’m in tears from the goodness of God. This is hard to even articulate in words because freedom is supernatural, meaning not of this world. But this is a message meant to be heard. It is the true gospel realized.  

Ephesians 3:20 talks about the immeasurable life that happens when you give your life to God.  

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” 

To be honest, I always believed this meant the “American dream” and going to church on Sunday. The idea that when you start following God, you get everything that you want in life. This American dream is embarrassing compared to the glory we can step into as believers.  

Immeasurable life in God means picking up your shovel and digging your own grave because you have to die. You have to die to yourself. Surrender is the key to life. Jesus said “to pick up your cross and follow me,” I didn’t what that truly meant. But this is the only way, and oh is it worth it.  

His glory can only rest on an abandoned vessel. The American dream doesn’t even remotely compare to what life in the Glory of God is. The exchange is far greater than the cost.  

What does a life of freedom look like? How can one walk in such an expensive gift? 

It’s simple. But it will cost you everything.

How much of God do you want? 

A few months ago, I was deeply wrestling with God. I felt stuck in pain. I was carrying such deep disappointment. The day I said yes to Jesus, 9 years ago, I signed up for His ways. No matter what. I was processing this with a good friend of mine and I told her, “I feel so stuck in my walk with God and my only choice is to go through the pain because I’m ruined for normal life.”  What I mean by this is that I have tasted and seen too much of the heart of God to choose anything else. He has me, no matter what circumstances may occur. And in this process, God was freeing me from myself.  

There is an ache for the more that we can’t sustain in our own strength. A groaning too deep for words. The pain I was avoiding was the utter loneliness I felt from past hardships. A feeling of being deeply misunderstood. The cry of my heart was for intimacy. The frustration of the inability to control. I was faced with the crux of my existence. The “why” questions I asked of God that I let haunt me.  

I thought my desires and thoughts were going to control me for the rest of my life. I feel like most of my pain has been self-inflicted. I wasn’t willing to lay down my dreams because I didn’t actually trust God. Most of the torment came from not being honest with myself. I thought if I acknowledged I didn’t trust God that God wouldn’t think I was ready. A very intricate lie.  

You see, the human heart longs for companionship. We long to be fully known and fully loved. An Earthly companion will never fully satisfy. But God fully satisfies. I have been following God for a while now, but I never believed God could really fill the ache that plagued the back of my heart. You know the feeling that nothing is ever enough? Even time with your closest people isn’t enough? The vacation isn’t enough? I thought “oh, God can satisfy me for a moment, but this is human. I’ll always feel this way until I get to heaven.” This is the biggest load of lies. Do you actually know what God did?  

Jesus ALWAYS preached, “The kingdom of God is at hand; The Kingdom of God is near.” Eternity starts in this life, not the next.  

Friends, that humanly ache you feel...God can truly satisfy it. You never have to be empty, again.  

I tried to fix myself by introspection. Introspection is only healthy to a certain degree. It is only healthy if God is the one revealing to heal. If it’s not God, all you’re doing is taking a fork to a grave and trying to revive things that cannot resurrect without Him. There is no healing apart from Him.  

Freedom is accessible for everyone, but it is a narrow choice. Most believers will settle, a sad reality, but the truth. My mission is to testify to the beautiful reality of life with God. It’s real. It’s available. It’s been bought for you.  

I want to encourage you and I don’t know how. Maybe just sharing my experience is encouragement enough. I know suffering, I know pain, I know loss. I get it. The questioning of where God is, I get it. But God, in His faithfulness, meets us every time with Himself. He restores, He knows, His depth of love for you I can’t capture in words. 

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” 2 Corinthians 3:17 

Lay it all down at His feet, trust Him, seek His face, and the reality between Heaven and Earth will thin.  

 In Him,

Jen